Talk Podcast To Me
Welcome to "Talk Podcast to Me," the show where makeup artist and Glow Commando CEO, Courtney "Talk Curly To Me" Gilroy, infuses beauty tips and life lessons on the fly. Join Courtney on this unscripted journey where she delves into the essence of true beauty, exploring the harmony between inner self-discovery and external radiance.
Talk Podcast To Me
Talk Self Love To Me
Ever been through heartbreak and felt like you'll never recover? Let me tell you, I've been there too, and I open up how I learned to value myself and prioritize self-love through heartbreak. On my journey of self-discovery, I've grasped the art of setting boundaries, the power hidden in positive self-talk, and reframed negative situations to foster growth. And now, I'm here to share those insights with you, to help you rise from the ashes of breakups, stand tall, and love yourself unconditionally.
Do you know what’s truly magical in romance? It's not grand gestures, but the small things that create a significant impact. Respect for boundaries, remembering minor details, and communication will help form a deep and meaningful relationship. In our digitized world, dating can pose unique challenges, with the quest for "better" often overshadowing the "good" right in front of us. This episode encourages you to find someone who meets your standards, and reassures you that settling for less isn't necessary. Listen on, as we navigate the dynamics of modern dating and find happiness in the present moment. Discover how to let positivity guide your journey of self-love, and look forward to what life has in store.
Hey guys and welcome to another episode of Talk Podcasts to me. I'm your host, courtney Gilroy, and I'm super excited to have you guys back for episode number three. The last episode, I had my friend Steph on and we talked about college days, we talked about breakups, we talked about our friendship, our long-distance friendship. We talked about a lot and I left you guys off with me being single and I told you guys about my last whatever. And you know I learned a lot through all of that and today I wanted to share with you guys just confidence in yourself if something doesn't work out, and essentially hand in hand with breakups, because I feel like a lot of my clients, a lot of my clients ask me about you know, like how do you handle like a breakup? Or like how do you handle being confident if, like, something doesn't work out? And it's so funny because I don't. I still don't understand why people ask me for relationship advice, since I've been single for a while, but anyway, I truly have learned so much about myself with dating and just what I'll tolerate, what I won't tolerate, and just even a lot about who I am as a person and like the confidence that I've built in myself for years. So, that being said, my first thing I'm gonna say is how you feel about yourself goes a long way. So I think that you can't be in a relationship with someone, or even want to start to get to know someone, until you truly know yourself.
Speaker 1:So after every, after every breakup I've had, I've only dated like four people four, yeah sure, like four people. With all those breakups, like I find like a new person in myself afterwards. So like, like I've said, like I'm not gonna talk shit about any of them. Like I'm not gonna say like, oh, they did x, y and z to me, like whatever, like that's looking at it bad. Like I truly don't ever wish I think bad about my exes. Like you molded me to who I am today and I think that, like, when you talk about them like a negative way, like you're, there's a part of you that is still healing and it takes two, it's not just one person. So, like, if you stayed around you, you're just as much to blame. And I'm speaking on that because I've done that to myself.
Speaker 1:I've stayed around way longer than I should have in situations because I just want to think, to work out, and I just kept going back to a situation because I was so comfortable with someone until I truly learned that nobody else is going to help me unless I help myself. So, for instance, um, my previous like ex that I was on and off again with for a while, I went through a year of like a lot of negativity happening around me and I lost one of my friends, and it was just a year for a lot of people in my town that we lost a lot of people and I was just kind of going through my own. Things changed, a career went off on my own. I started like focusing on glow, I took a huge pay cut, so it was just like a lot of things. And he was always there for me and a huge supporter, so I always looked at that as a crutch and I was always like, oh, you're there for me, so you'll always be there for me, kind of thing. And like when things were bad and I was looked at like that, but instead I was just hurting myself because I wasn't truly giving myself the respect of going through it by myself. And one thing I really learned in that and like he actually has taught me that he actually taught me that every person that comes into my life teaches me something about me, and one thing I learned with him is I'm the only person that's going to get me through everything, like I am the only one that is going to have to look myself in the mirror and face the challenges that I have in my life, and not him, not a friend, not a family member, even like my therapist I've been going to. She's great, but but no one is going to help you get through it. They're going to guide you through it.
Speaker 1:So I've learned a lot about just setting boundaries, knowing who I am and just loving myself whole heartedly so, and a lot of people I feel like sometimes I'll look at that like all right, that's cocky, but how is it cocky if you love yourself and you know what you want and how you talk to yourself, even in the morning? Like if you wake up and you're looking in the morning, you have a pimple. You're like I'm so ugly. You're setting the tone for the rest of the day to feel shitty about yourself, instead of looking at yourself and being like you're going to crush today and no matter what today's face is, it's going to be a good one, and I find that throughout the day, like there's so many different things that could trigger you to get in a bad mood or whatever, instead of just like, if you get triggered of, let's just say, sitting in traffic and you're just miserable and you're like, oh, I hate this traffic, like I just want to get to where I'm going. Instead, look at it like I'm in this traffic for a reason. Maybe I'm not meant to get there at this time, maybe an accident could have happened that could have hurt me and just putting on a song and just taking the extra time in the car and like you're just sitting in traffic, it is what it is. So like there's so many different things that I've learned that you could just trigger your mind and change things.
Speaker 1:Or, and a lot, of, a lot of women that I talk to when they go through breakups, they're like, what's wrong with me? Like why, what is? What does this next girl have? And you know I'm scared. I don't want to date somebody else. Instead of just it didn't work out for a reason. And what did he teach you about you? Like, yeah, maybe he's gonna date someone else, but guess what, now you're free. Like now you can just find yourself again. Now find a new thing about yourself, like I'll if I want ice cream, I'll go take myself on an ice cream date. I'll go to a coffee shop. A walk by myself, just spending time with myself and learning the emotions that I'm going through at that time is just so important. Because sorry, because you're going to know what you want and what you deserve in any situation. I had to take a quick little break because Brody's upstairs barking, but anyway. So the relationship with you is so important and it doesn't even go into relationships with men or women, whatever. It truly goes into your relationships with your friends and your family and even just knowing what you want to tolerate around you. So boundaries are huge.
Speaker 1:Like I've been around people that you know they would only hang out with me when things weren't going great in their life, or like they went through a breakup and then the second that them and their boy forgot back together, I don't hear from them. So it was like. It was like a thing of like, okay, we broke up, I'm going to call you, let's go out, and then, like they get back together and it's like you have to set boundaries in any situation. So, like for me, I'm like don't just call me every time you guys break up. I want to hear from you when you guys are together, like your relationship has nothing to do with me. I don't care, like any of my friends, whatever they do with their lives and their relationships, like I'm just here for you, but I just want you to prioritize spending time with me as well.
Speaker 1:So I've had friendships as well that they needed to talk to me all the time, and you know there's when I started to get busy. I'm like, hey, like I need a boundary, like I can't be there for you all the time, because I need some days where I'm there for myself and I feel like I'm the friend that a lot of my friends call all the time and they just want to talk and sometimes they need advice or they just want to, like, catch me up, and there's times where, like I'm so busy that I want to talk to them, but there's some times where I just mentally need a break for myself, and that's fine. You need to know your boundaries and you need to know what you'll tolerate and what you won't tolerate. All right, I'm back again. We got a special guest because he can't stop barking, so I had to bring you downstairs. Oh, if everyone wants to know my current relationships, because it's Brody, right, baby, it's Brody. So, okay, stop. Anyway. So huge thing.
Speaker 1:And like, this is why me and Steph have had such a good friendship for so long, because me and her never, like, we give each other the space to grow, we never judge each other. So every phase of my life, every phase of her life that we've been through, we give each other that space to okay, like, what did you learn from that? Um, are you okay? And we just know, like, what we want to talk about, what we won't want to talk about. Like, obviously, like, even in friendships, like, let's say, you go through a breakup, like they'll call you, like, all right, have you heard from him? Do you want to talk about it? Like whatever, and sometimes you don't want to talk about it, but you feel forced to have to talk about it because you want to catch them up on your life and, honestly, just learn to have those conversations like, hey, I'll talk to you about it, but when I'm in a better mindset, I don't feel like talking about a reno because I don't want to re-trigger myself and knowing boundaries in that aspect as well.
Speaker 1:Um, even to dating, like going on dates with people like I am not one, that I don't. I really don't like to go on dates. To be honest, I I hate the small talk. There's only so much small talk I could do of what do you do for work? What's your favorite color? I, I don't know. Like I, I want to know. Come up here, I'm distracted by the dog. Um, like I want to know like deeper stuff, and I, I don't like to have superficial conversations like I want to know about your, your last relationship. Why didn't it work out what happened? Like because then I'll know. Okay, uh, maybe she likes to talk to you all the time and whatever, and like that's what you need and maybe I'm not that person for you.
Speaker 1:I like to just have like a bunch of different conversations like what's your love, language and just knowing all those things, versus just super small talk. Can't do it. But, yeah, dates are even a huge thing and I feel like a lot of women I talk to at go on dates. They'll be like yeah, um, I feel like like he wanted to kiss me after the first date. I wasn't feeling it. Okay, if you weren't feeling it, then don't kiss them like the boundary. If they don't respect that boundary, then they don't respect you. Like I, if I go on a first date half the time, I'm not kissing them on the first date.
Speaker 1:Like I, I treat people and when they come into my life like as friends right off the bat, because I want to know you first before anything, before any physical anything, I'll hug you, whatever. Let's hang out first and like see if we get along before I go freaking making out with you. And I feel like a lot of women are so scared to have those conversations like yeah, it's so, it's awkward when you're like leaving the car, like okay, thank you so much. But like go give them a kiss, let's see. Hey, I don't kiss on the first date. Like let's just like we're gonna keep talking. If we get a second date, great, but but and if they don't respect that, then they're gonna probably piss you off at some point in life. But you're so cute sorry guys, I'm really I'm distracted. He's just so cute. Um, but yeah, boundaries with yourself and knowing your worth.
Speaker 1:Like I write down a list of my notes of people that, like I've dated, like things I've learned from them, things I've learned about myself. I keep going back to this, but it's so important, like a huge thing for me. I don't like somebody who this is a big one actually who drinks and is sloppy, like I don't mind drinking, I'll go out and have a good time. I don't get. I've never blacked out my life. I don't get sloppy. Like I always say my alter ego seagulls comes out because I just like am fun and like I'll just like talk to a bunch of different people, like whatever. But like I, I don't get sloppy. Like I, I always need to like know what I'm doing, I need to know who I'm with and if they're okay, like I'm like the mom of the group, I feel, but I think that like that is a huge thing. Like if I go out with you and we get drunk and like you're really sloppy and now, like if you can't even hold yourself up, you're not hanging out with me again, it's not happening. Um, communication, um, if they're having a busy day and I don't hear from them, fine, I don't need to talk to someone all day, every day, like I get it, we all have lives and like you could be busy and whatever. Or communication is key, like hey, I'm having a really busy day. I hope your day is going great. Um, I'll connect with you later. Great, no problem, that's a huge thing for me. Um, I'm trying to think what else I like.
Speaker 1:I like a romantic person, but it doesn't have to be like too much. One thing I really Like is just like little things, like if you remember my favorite perfume or you know what we said in the last episode like Dancing with no music on, like I just think it's so cute. Just like little things of like you know, I have no makeup on, you're just looking at me, like you're so beautiful. Like little things like that, things that I don't like. I don't like to feel pressured. That is the thing about me. I don't like pressure. I don't like to feel like I owe you anything, like okay, you take me out to dinner and Now I feel like I have to owe you a kiss at the end of the night. No, I don't like that. Or Like we're talking for a week or two weeks and all of a sudden, it's like great, you're not talking to anybody else. It's like I Mean, I don't even know you. So how are we gonna say that? See, I don't like pressure, things that I Know that I like about myself and what I bring to the table.
Speaker 1:I will remember little things, like some things I do, even on first dates, like if I do like this person later on I'll. I'm big on notes and big on notes about people like I'll write little notes about somebody like, all right they, their favorite color is green, they like Harley-Davidson I'm just thinking of random things. Their favorite trip when they were little was with their parents and they remembered this about it. Like I'll remember like little stuff like that and it goes a long way and build a communication and building our relationship with someone, because you have to remember little things about people and Things that they like, that they don't like, so that way your relationship just grows. And when you remember those little things about someone, like think about it for yourself. When you remember, when someone remembers little things about you, you're like, oh wait, like you're, you're intimate and it just allows the connection to grow.
Speaker 1:I remember one time I was dating this kid and we were like it was kind of like a month in and I went to a concert with my mom and I it was Cade Brown and we're like he's like, are you so excited? I was like, yeah, I just like got a specter. I just got a t-shirt. I was like there's just a one, but like there's no reason for me to get it, like I'm probably just gonna wear it to bed, whatever. He looked up the jersey that was there and I remember say I was like there's no reason for me to have to buy, like I already just bought me and my mom stuff, like whatever. Like this concert was like expensive for where we were sitting. He looked up the price of the jersey and he Venmoed me and was like you have no excuse. Now go buy the jersey. And I was just like like something like that.
Speaker 1:I remember, like it's still so to me. This was like years ago too and I was like that is just so cute. And I remember we talked for a little bit but where we were at in our lives I obviously I'm working towards more something serious, and he got out of something serious, so he wasn't ready for that, but we did hit it off like we had like a good connection. But you know, I that's where respecting my boundaries like I'm looking to find marriage and be with someone who I want to build something with, and I don't even think he wanted kids. So I think that we just had an honest conversation. We're like listen, like we had a great time and you know I thank you for whatever.
Speaker 1:But that was something that stuck with me of something that he did for me. And there's a couple other things too, like even our first date, like he brought me flowers and like little things like that. I was like, oh okay, like there's people out there that do these things, like there's I could find that in somebody and not every guy after that that I have talked to like they don't have to do those things, like they don't have to bring me flowers on the first date, like it's very nice to men. If you're listening there, you got a little tip, but I found things in other people that you know maybe he didn't do for me and like it just helped me like have a standard for myself. And once I found things that like I did like in other people, like I said, back to the list, I have notes of like okay, this is what you did like and gravitate towards people.
Speaker 1:And then these are things that you didn't so like on first dates, when you start having like certain questions, like I actually have this thing I bought because first dates are awkward. They're awkward and you know, sometimes you run out of conversations. There's this thing if you just look on Amazon, I think it's like first date questions and there's like one that's like intimate and then there's ones that are just like get to know each other. I went on a date with someone who actually bought those and I thought that was really cute and I was like you know, I'm totally taking this idea and I bought them and yeah, I feel like it definitely helps a lot. Get to know someone on another level and even with like small conversations and like you'll just really know if you want to be with someone and like don't waste your time. Like don't be scared to waste your time. Like don't look at other people.
Speaker 1:And again, social media. This is where it's so hard to date, because social media has definitely ruined relationships and getting to know people, because a lot of guys and a lot of women think that the grass is always greener on the other side. Or like you don't want to settle because you don't. You're not sure, because you know this other girl you're looking on Instagram, this other guy you're looking on Instagram might be single and like maybe that you want to entertain that like I don't know.
Speaker 1:There's so many different aspects of social media and just dating that everybody just thinks that you know certain people have a certain life and like whatever, and it's it's not. Like you have to just stop comparing yourself to other people and that's an episode podcast for itself just social media, relationships and social media and like how you feel about yourself. But you can't focus on other people and they're dating or whatever like a huge thing for me and that's why I did the whole night of your business thing, because I won. I won then to have their like kind of own space and privacy, but also to like I don't there's no reason for anyone to know like what is it for anybody that you know his Instagram, like what is it gonna do for you? You're not talking to him, so who cares? And it's like when you take that aspect out of your dating people because you want other people to see you in a relationship or you know you're just settling for this guy who's just like somewhat nice and gives you attention, but really like he lacks a lot of other aspects that you know you need, but you like having a boyfriend there. You're just going to set yourself up for failure, because that is where the like. You need to be secure with yourself, being alone first, and know who you are wholeheartedly. Know who, what you'll tolerate, what you won't tolerate. Like it In all aspects, not just relationships in all aspects, because that is going to grow you into who you are.
Speaker 1:And like, I have to say, me early 20s versus me now. I'm just such a different person, like if I was dating someone and they were traveling a lot All right, bye, have fun. Like that's me now. Have fun, talk to you in your back. I just want to know your home safe. I don't even need to talk to you. I'll talk to you like another time versus me in my early 20s. I'd be crazy. I would literally be like, oh my god, I hope a girl doesn't talk to you. And like freaking out and like like Letting it all get to my head. Me now. I'm like if something's gonna happen, it's gonna happen, and that is a huge thing too. If you're dating someone or you're just start talking to someone and you're so worried about other people, if something's gonna happen, it's going to happen.
Speaker 1:So when you truly take the time to get to know someone and to get to know yourself, to know the like red flags. When you take the time to get to know someone and you really know them, you'll know when they're doing something. You'll know when something's off. You'll feel it in your gut. Do not avoid those feelings in your gut because nine out of ten times it's so, so accurate, it's so right. So Know yourself, know your worth. This is Everything every self-help podcast or self-help book has ever talked about is just knowing who you are, because everything else will fall into place after that.
Speaker 1:So moral of this episode Know who you are. Never settle for anything less social media. Please do not compare yourselves to other people and their lives and their happy marriage or relationships. Wish them nothing but the best, because guess what? You were going to find? That you're going to find that You're gonna find happiness if you're single watching this, if you're in a relationship watching this and you feel like you're stressed over your partner or whatever. Just Focus on you. Focus on you and the rest is gonna follow. And focus on your partner. Don't focus on your partner. Take yourself on dates, do whatever it is to keep yourself happy, because, again, the relationship with yourself sets a tone for the relationship with everybody else around you.
Speaker 1:So think positive, love yourself, love the journey of your life and just live in the moment and Really just enjoy everything that's happening, little small. Don't let anything that Can be negative ruin your day. Revert it to anything positive. Take notes of yourself but in your notes folder, like something after dates, and Just Really enjoy the life that you're living. I mean, that's really all this podcast and stuff is gonna be about.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can ramble for hours and fun fact, I actually filmed before and for some reason my camera shut off and I had like a good 30 minutes of Content and yeah, so, just like the first episode, hi my microphone. Like I said, I'm just gonna be a shit show. It's gonna be fun, can't wait. But yeah, record a whole 30 minutes and it didn't record, so I just have to redo it all. But anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying the content I'm giving you so far.
Speaker 1:Message me if you want me to talk about anything else and I'm sure I'm gonna talk about this topic again. I'm gonna be very open and honest about where I am in life and you know, being single and me single now versus me single when I was younger. Like I know who I am now. So I know who I am, I know what I'm gonna tolerate. I know, after our first date of, I'm gonna like you or not. So I know I'm gonna keep giving energy to and I know what I'm not going to. So Well, that being said, I hope you guys have a great day, a great week, and I'm super excited about this journey with you guys.
