Talk Podcast To Me
Welcome to "Talk Podcast to Me," the show where makeup artist and Glow Commando CEO, Courtney "Talk Curly To Me" Gilroy, infuses beauty tips and life lessons on the fly. Join Courtney on this unscripted journey where she delves into the essence of true beauty, exploring the harmony between inner self-discovery and external radiance.
Talk Podcast To Me
TalkQuestionsToMe
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As Alyssa joins me once again behind the mic as we dive into the questions I've been asked. Alyssa brings her fresh perspective on the chaos and charm of working in the beauty industry, especially when it means being part of someone's big day. We unravel the threads of our proudest achievements, with me sharing the thrill of my business's success and the buzz of my book. But it's not all work and no play; we take a moment to breathe in the present, cherishing our victories while discussing future aspirations.
I open up about the transformative experience of dating for self-discovery, the importance of communication, and the patience required in building a relationship that stands on a rock-solid foundation of trust and honesty. Alyssa and I laugh over the quirks of modern dating, from the small talk that comes with apps. Join us, and let's embark on this voyage of self-discovery and empowerment together.
I'm going to put the most rewarding thing about my job into why I got into the industry. That'll be what are you going to answer for?
Speaker 2that.
Speaker 1I'll segue in.
Speaker 2I'm going to kind of just go off, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Talk Podcast to Me. So today I was going to do a solo episode and answer all the questions that I got the other day, but then I realized I had to bring Alyssa in because our last one was just too good and basically she's pretty much going to become my co-host at this point because, again, if there's a me, there's a her, if there's a her, there's a me. So here we are today, back with A Graham, hi guys. So, all right, we have a ton of questions today. Some of them are pretty juicy and some of them are just like career and life. So let's get right to it.
Speaker 1Um, what is the most rewarding thing about your job? Um, I would say, just making women feel beautiful. Um, alissa, actually, just so, alyssa's been in the industry for a while. When did you get your license? 2016? Yeah, yeah, so she, she. A lot of people don't even realize that she does hair makeup and tanning, also with me. Um, more so like makeup and the spray tans. But she works at Lexus. So if anybody has a Lexus and needs service, go to my girl, come see me, try cat alexis. Um, but, yeah, so she. Um, I'm kind of more. So I've been motivating her to get into it, um, on her off days of work. So she's been working with me a lot and she killed it. She worked her first wedding with me, um, but yeah, what would you say was like very rewarding about that?
Speaker 2I loved it. She loved it loved the energy of it like when we were done.
Speaker 1She was like I love that I go, just wait until you're like this is the first one that's yeah, no it's very rewarding, especially like being a part of someone's like special day and they're looking at their bridesmaids and all of that and like knowing that you had a part of that is so fun, especially if you have like a really fun bridal party. But it's very exhausting. And it's not exhausting in the sense of like you don't like working with the bridal party. It's more exhausting in the sense of like there's so many energies around you and then like it's so chaotic but that you love chaos.
Speaker 2So you like thrive, you thrive.
Speaker 1Yeah, I was like, oh she, if anybody knows her, she's always late, always late. Yeah, and I'm like alissa, today is not a day to be late, like you gotta. Like you gotta book it. So she did really good and I'm super proud of her. Um, all right, yeah, I mean, the most rewarding thing is just being able to make women feel good about themselves and be there for important days of their lives, and that's what got me into the industry, because I, I truly just I like to be like a therapist and I just feel like to make people feel good in the process is just rewarding. Yeah, um, what is your greatest accomplishment? What would you say my greatest accomplishment?
Speaker 1your business yeah um, like you kill it, thanks, uh, I would say that, um, I wrote a book which I've posted about it. I did write a book I mean everything podcast book.
Speaker 1She's just always on the go wait I was it's so funny the first time I um alissa was spray tanning me at her house and I was like she's like, why were you late, which I'm usually never late and I was like, oh, I'm writing a book. And she thought I was joking. And she's like, okay, courtney, because make up the thing about me, I make up the most random excuses if I don't want to do something, and it'll be like I'll say what did I say earlier?
Speaker 1I got to go mop my grass, which is random Nobody's mopping grass, you know like just stupid stuff, where it makes you just like think, um, I said like one time I gotta teach my goldfish how to swim, just stupid shit. And so I was at her house. It's like, oh, I was writing a book. And she's like okay. And I was like wait, no, I I forgot to tell you I'm actually writing a book. She's like wait on what? So, yeah, um, I would say my book coming out this year, um, which actually I also got a question about what are my 2024 goals.
Speaker 1So this this is just going to go right inside of each other the writing the book and also getting best spray tanning in Bergen County for a second year in a row, the shout out to Elijah, alyssa, elijah, for helping me. We got a round of applause there, yeah, and I'm just I don't know. It's so funny because I think it's just like a woman thing where it's like you know, when you want something so bad and you get it, and then you're like what do I want next?
Speaker 2yeah, it's kind, yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1So I have to say like yeah, like alissa, like keeps me grounded in the sense of where I'm like okay, what can I do next? She's like, dude, it's only like march or we're in april right now, but this was like when we talked about this was like March, um. And she's like you just did so much, like just you're good, like you're fine, like stick with this and be happy with it, and so like she humbles me in the sense of like I don't need to always constantly do something new and whatever, so just kind of focusing on what I have going right now. So my 2024 goals is to just be present and be happy with what I've already had going on and accomplishments. And honestly, I just right now I want to like focus on the podcast and just get this going because I mean, so far it's doing pretty good guys, let's see. Okay, this is going. What are your values when it comes to your relationship? Do you want to talk about our relationship, me and you, or is it like our things?
Speaker 2like one thing too well, let's start with us okay, let's start with us.
Speaker 1We're way more important than they are. Things are just things um, go ahead with us. Yeah, what do you value about us?
Speaker 2um get emotional on me I know I don't want to start crying.
Speaker 1That would never happen, I know. Also, let's take note we are wearing the same fucking thing. We worked out this morning and I had my clothes laid out. I was like, all right, I just want to wear like this t-shirt, because we went to a post malone concert at the rodeo and I love this t-shirt. Yeah, and she showered at my house. I did her hair and she's like are you wearing that? And I'm like t-shirt. Yeah, and she showered up my house. I did her hair and she's like are you wearing that? And I'm like, yes, she goes and shows me her as I go. I'm still wearing it, I don't care.
Speaker 2So we're twin, and it just made me more happy that I know the same thing. I like your twin I love it um.
Speaker 1Okay, what do you value about us? I?
Speaker 2have everything like. I can't break it down everything I love, our well, we're in a relationship our friendship mainly.
Speaker 1I know, um, you always have to have a friendship before you have a relationship. Exactly that's when it works the most.
Speaker 2Yeah, I love that we both push each other. We definitely both.
Speaker 1Let me tell you she was like my everything yeah, she was so scared to work a wedding and I was like just fucking do it, just freaking, do it. I'm sitting literally right next to you. If something happens, I will help you, I will fix whatever like you just need.
Speaker 2Just just do it yeah, and I just like kept that in my head, which is so funny because Alyssa does not have emotions.
Speaker 1She does not have emotions, she. But when it comes to stuff like this, she gets so nervous and I'm like why are you getting nervous?
Speaker 2just, and you always are like why are you getting?
Speaker 1yeah it's like this is not you and I'm like, but it is yeah in this aspect, yeah like so, like and I said to her and I'm gonna say this, if anyone's watching and you're new in the industry or whatever what I said to her, like the night before we were prepping everything. Preparation is key because if you prep, there's no over prepping. Like yeah, if I, if I'm at um, we're at a hotel, because we worked like closer to philly, we prepped the room the night before um that was good.
Speaker 1Yeah, it helped a lot yeah or even just if you're going to a wedding venue or whatever, like bring an extra table, bring extra lighting, you never know. Bring an extension cord like little things be over prepared for all.
Speaker 1You know the table is great and you don't even need another table. Or maybe because, like, sometimes you go into venues and there you need a table. Um, just over. Prep, like like the night before, sit everything down, make sure your brushes are clean, make sure everything's sanitized, all that. But the number one thing is like you have to mentally prep because you don't know what kind of energies that you're going to give, and doing makeup or doing hair or anything in the beauty industry is an energy exchange. So you need to prep yourself to know that you might have someone in the bridal party that just is unhappy with anything because they're used to a certain way and sometimes you can't control that and there's only so much that you can do and not to take it on yourself.
Speaker 1But I always say, especially if you're new in the industry and you're like working a wedding by yourself or you're working with someone who's been in the industry for a while, at the end of the day you are doing makeup better than they can do.
Speaker 1So know that and just ride with that, because at the end of the day they're hiring you for a reason because they can't do their makeup that day and just know that and just that you can always fix it, especially if you're working alongside of someone that will stop and like, fix things, like I.
Speaker 1I took an extra person just so she didn't have to stress and I was like, whatever, I don't, I don't mind it, I'll do it. So just knowing who you're working with, um, and don't throw yourself in situations where you feel like you're going to be uncomfortable because it it can make you uncomfortable. If you work with somebody that you don't feel like you're nervous to ask or whatever. Um, but yeah, preparation's key and just knowing that you're gonna do makeup probably better than they were doing themselves which is not saying that they're gonna do a shit job but at the end of the day, like you're the professional here and just sit with that yeah I feel like that was good yeah I think my biggest thing was like that you know, like I feel like most people that always want their makeup done, especially in weddings, is like they don't wear makeup.
Speaker 2So it's like they don't wear makeup. So like you're doing their makeup and it's like is it gonna be too much? Is it gonna be like yeah, and also knowing, um, knowing the client.
Speaker 1So my things too are I'll say to them um, like, if they show, if they're sitting in my chair and they're like I want supernatural and they're showing me a picture of kylie jenner, that's not natural. Yeah, it's not natural. She's under photoshop, like she has photoshop, whatever. I'm sure I'm not saying she's not beautiful. I'm sure she very she is, but she gets botox, she definitely gets facials, she definitely does fillers, she definitely does a lot of things.
Speaker 1And that goes with, like, if you're showing me a model or anything like, yeah, they're taking care of their skin and they're doing all these things. Like this is where it's like, don't compare yourself to another person, because, like I rather be like, show me a picture that you've gotten your makeup done previously and you've loved it, and let me go off of that. Or show me what you do on a daily basis, because I'll combine the two, because that will make them feel their best. Because you want them to look what they would normally look like, but like, enhanced a little bit. You want them to look what they would normally look like, but like enhanced a little bit. Yeah, so like those are like little things that I ask, or like I'll do, which I totally, totally sidetracked from like comes, like our values for relationships, but I mean that's, that's a huge thing, like we, we're very honest.
Speaker 1We talked about this in the last episode, like we're very honest with each other. We actually there was a situation before I like didn't tell her about because I forgot to tell her, and I was just like, oh my god, I gotta tell you this thing, because we legit talk about everything, like, yeah, everything, and she's like keep your opinion to yourself yeah but that's also.
Speaker 2I wasn't prepared. Yeah, that's also even serious, like I didn't even have an opinion, I know there's it's, it's knowing your friend too, like, um, alyssa's a very.
Speaker 1she's gonna say how it is and that's what I value because I'm the same way, but it's knowing your friend and knowing yourself. So if I'm in a mood, if I was upset about something right, and I needed to come to her and just vent to her, I'll say wait, I got to tell you this story.
Speaker 2But, like, just keep your opinion to yourself, because I just I got to like I'm not in the mood to hear it.
Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery
Speaker 1Even though she was just like. We literally laughed at this. It's actually comical. Maybe I'll share it one day, but maybe I'll share it with us, who knows. But yeah, we value that With our relationships in general. I have to say I mean I'm still very new in the relationship she's been with her boyfriend. For thing thing Don't say boyfriend.
Speaker 2Yeah, we don't say those things.
Speaker 1She's been with her boyfriend for thing thing. We don't say boyfriend, yeah, we don't see those things. Um, she's been with him for like two years, but I have to say like equally uh, from what I've noticed with my relationship and hers, like they not like they just won't give up I feel like more like like a value is just like they like to motivate you yeah, push you even when it's uncomfortable like I.
Speaker 2I've noticed that my relationship at least like that. I get a lot of that, even though I hate it at sometimes and I'm just like I hate you, yeah, but it is a lot of like she also needs someone to put her in her place, because she is a very alpha female.
Speaker 2Yeah, and she needs someone which is really bad and I think that, like I, yeah, I mean out of any, ever any. Not that I've been in many relationships, but like out of any relationship I've been in this is definitely this one like he'll put me in my place, but like only to where I led him.
Speaker 1Yeah, like yeah, no, he's not disrespectful about it, but like, if you guys have like, definitely the most difficult I ever dealt with period.
Speaker 2Yeah, period, not difficult in a bad way, just difficult where like, yeah, I kind of just like become more female and just like give up.
Speaker 1Yeah, you know you're you step in your feminine energy, as people would say, um, yeah, no, that, uh, for me I would say, I mean, this is like from the beginning, uh, me and him really had a friendship. I've known him for a little bit now. We've had, we've really, yeah, we truly took our time, like I mean it's a lot of it.
Speaker 2He's gonna probably hate me for saying this.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, we really we were just friends and I was just not in the space to want to be serious with someone at that point, and we were honest from the beginning. I respect you so much for that, yeah you do that and all your relationships.
Speaker 1I'm not like that she gets mad at me because she's like you don't need to share these things, like whatever, and I'm like I'd rather someone know where I'm at mentally and what I want right now. At the time when I met him, I was, I was my head was with somebody else and I was just like no, I really like this person and I oh my god, I'm like really shared. Um, no, I really like this one person, but it wasn't serious. It was not serious. Yeah, but I also am not the type of person like I cannot entertain multiple people. I can't do it. I not serious. Yeah, but I also am not the type of person like I cannot entertain multiple people. I can't do it.
Speaker 1I can be friends with anybody, like that's fine, but I was like, when it comes to like okay, like this person has my attention right now and like whatever, so, um, at the time I met him and I was just like uh, yeah, no, like this is where I'm at. I kind of like someone, but it's not serious. I'm not dating them. I don't want a relationship right now. I'm still moving on from a previous relationship and even that person I was talking to at the time knew all of that and I just was. I was just dating Like which. There's nothing wrong with that, and this is something.
Speaker 1I want to say to like women like you don't have to settle with the first guy to give you attention. And I'm not saying to go date and sleep with everybody. That is not what I'm saying, because that is not who I am and alissa will attest this without me even having to look at her. But to date and see what you like, because I truly think you get to know yourself for every person that you talk to, and there's nothing wrong with going on a date with someone one week and going on a date with somebody else in another week.
Speaker 2It could just be as simple as a dinner Exactly A conversation. I feel like women need to date more. Yeah, I would speak for myself. I don't think I've dated ever.
Speaker 1actually you haven't.
Speaker 2You haven't, I was in a long relationship from high school to after high school and then I was single for a little bit and then I have a boyfriend, but you weren't really single because you were not talking to someone.
Speaker 1You were just like hanging out with someone.
Speaker 2But no dating. Yeah, you weren't dating them, you were just like by yourself.
Speaker 1And then you met your boyfriend.
Speaker 2like by yourself, and then you met your boyfriend, thing, the thing, the thing, um.
Speaker 1And then you were just like, oh, okay, and then, yeah, and then you were dating what you dated him. But yeah, I mean, I feel like that's where you kind of live vicariously through me because I really took my time. Yeah, I literally respect it so much. Um, yeah, I just got. You have to get to know yourself and I'm not. And also, too, if you know you're not in a space to date someone and you're hurting from a previous relationship, don't date somebody else. Don't go out on dates.
Speaker 1Listen, there's been times I went on a date just to get my mind off of somebody, but I was honest even at that date. I flat out said like I'm gonna tell you right now, off of date one. This is where, where I'm at. I just got out of something. I still have feelings for that person and I'm trying to move on and I'm trying to better myself.
Speaker 1And I make it about me because, at the end of the day, when you get out of a relationship, you got to go back to yourself. You have to date yourself and I am always honest, because I would rather hurt someone with the truth than to cover something up with a lie and have to remember that lie and then you have to keep going off of that lie. I would much rather hurt me with the truth. Let's work through it, let's get over it. Versus no, it's out of the question for me. I'd rather just not. So, yeah, so, going back to right from the beginning, me and him both were not in a place of like dating people and like whatever. Like he was very much on dating apps and just going out. And these are conversations that we've had where he was just like, yeah, I'm like whatever. And I said, and I said I'm like I'm not ready to date, so you should be doing that. You should be doing that.
Speaker 2You should go out, whatever, and he was having both.
Speaker 1Yeah, and he was just like, honestly, if you gave me the word right now that you're ready to date, I'm for. I don't give a shit about these things. I'm for you and I'm like I'm not. So I'm not gonna hold you back, because what if you find somebody?
Speaker 2yeah, so then they're ready, yeah, if you're ready, you know so at that point, to be ready, yeah, so at that point, um, we he wanted a lot more than what I was ready to give.
Navigating Relationships and Communication Challenges
Speaker 1So I was like you know what, I should just let you go because it's not fair, it's not fair and I'm not ready for that, and you know you deserve more. He ended up dating somebody, um, which is fine, and we kept in contact as friends, just like randomly, would dm each other stuff and then circle back around a little bit a year later and I don't even know how we started talking again. The wedding oh, I had a wedding that I got invited to with a plus one and I was single and I was like you know what Me and him were talking? It was his birthday. That's when, I think, we started talking. No, he wished me a happy birthday and then I wished him a happy birthday and then, just like randomly, when was the wedding?
Speaker 1The wedding was February, february. The wedding the wedding was february. Um, yeah, and then we started talking again and at that time I actually was back on hinge, um, and I, when I was on it, I was just like I, I was saying elissa too. I was like I don't have it, like she would literally like read my phone and read my conversations with these people and I did not have it in me. I'm just like, I just don't want to date and I realized I'm like people are weird people are so weird.
Speaker 1But I realized too I was at a point in my life where I was like no, you know what, I'm ready for another relationship, like I'm ready to get into something and like whatever. And that's not. It's just crazy how like god works, or whatever. Because, yeah, at that point I remember saying to her I was looking at conversations like dude, I can't do this, like what's your favorite color, what do you do for work and whatever, and I'm like small talk oh my god, I can't do it, I can't do.
Speaker 2Small talk happens at the right time yeah when it's ready.
Speaker 1Like you, definitely you know, yeah, I know it really like in the perfect space now 100, it all happened at such a like good time, which so, yeah, so fast forward to started talking to him again in november. Um, again, just as friends, whatever, how are you, blah blah? And he was just like, oh, it's so good to talk to you again, blah blah. And then it wasn't like an everyday thing, it was just like a sporadic. And then I had this wedding I was going to in February.
Speaker 1I was like you know what? I haven't seen this kid in so long. And I reached out to him. I was like, would you want to come to a wedding with me? And he was like, yeah, sure. So he came to a wedding with me, and again at that, this is now February. At that point I still was just like whatever, like if he was doing his thing, he could do his thing. I would like just live in my life still, too, I was going on dates and whatever, but I just actually no, I wasn't going on dates at that point. What? No, I wasn't. I don't think so. I wasn't. But there was like those people that like linger and text you.
Speaker 2Yeah, they always linger.
Speaker 1And then after the wedding, again, we both still had our dating apps. After the wedding, he surprised me and came here one night because he doesn't live over here and we were just talking and he was like listen, I'm just going to be real with you, I don't want the same thing to happen again. I really liked you the first time that you came around and I don't want to be on these dating apps and I want to give this a try. And we had a conversation about he was just like I just get worried that you're just going to like I self sabotage and that was fully me self sabotaging, but also ready for what he was ready to give me and which is very mature. It's very mature and I'm not gonna get into something and give someone a half-assed relationship that I know that they deserved more and I won't lie.
Speaker 2Seeing him date someone else annoyed me but I couldn't say anything there it is.
Speaker 1It annoyed me and then when he said that, I was like you know what, I'm down for it, and we both deleted our apps and and this, here we are. This is end of february and in march we were just like all right, and here we are in a relationship disgusting, yeah, that and yeah, we just like mutually. We have all those conversations of just like everything was honest from the beginning and also like I'm gonna get into this. Um, don't you notice is I don't care. This always happens. Whether you're a girl like guy in the relationship, I don't care. As soon as people realize you're in a relationship, whether you're posting them or not, I swear it's like people sense that people just come out of the woodwork like the randomest people when I tell you people come out of the woodwork.
Speaker 2That literally happened to me when I first started remember how many times I'm like I'm not doing anything. You're like I'm literally not even talking to this person Like why are they reaching out to me?
Speaker 1Like it would just be so random.
Speaker 2Random or you run into them somewhere. Yeah, I'm just like what Always happens, Like this is crazy.
Speaker 1Yeah, happened with both of us where someone reached out to him that he matched with on hinge or bubble something like a while ago, and it was like right, when we just like agreed that we're gonna like delete the apps and like start talking, and he like screenshots and said to me he goes, why do people always come out of the woodworks? And I was like cracking up. I'm like no, it always happens like it just does. Yeah, and we just have these conversations like um, he's like I just love that I could just talk to you about these things. I'm like I would rather you feel comfortable to come to me and talk to me, because if there's anything I'm going to take about previous relationships I've been in, it's not that you're hiding something. If you don't tell somebody, it's just you want to avoid, and that's what we're Alyssa. She just wants to avoid.
Speaker 1Yeah, this is where we're very different. She just read, she knows she's not gonna answer. She doesn't answer, but she would rather just avoid saying something because she just doesn't want to fight or an argument or whatever, because she doesn't like confrontation. Yeah, versus me. I would rather, hey, uh, this is what my history was with this person. They reached out to me. I really haven't talked to them or whatever, because and this kind of goes into. There's another question about building trust. Um, it goes into building trust because that's just I would. For me personally, I would rather know everything and then know where we stand versus not knowing everything. Alyssa just hates confrontation.
Speaker 2I lack that, but I it's not like malicious or I'm trying to be shady or anything.
Speaker 1It's just that I'm not good with that stuff.
Speaker 2Like I don't know what to say. I'm just like, hey, like I just get awkward and weird, weird, and I it's just like, if I'm not answering, I leave it there. You can see it, but that's it like I'm not hiding anything yeah, but I have to get better it's communication communication is key to a relationship I've had that, I think, problem in every relationship I have even with me.
Speaker 1You don't know how to communicate. I'm just like I don't want to. It's even with me, like if we're in an argument she just won't talk to me until she's over or I'm over, and then she'll just come back around, be like hey, and I'm like dude, can we talk about it?
Speaker 1and she's like there's nothing to talk about like I'm just like it's hard, it's just hard because she rather just like okay, like you know that you don't do anything, so it's just like whatever, and you know but it also, I guess, like from the other perspective, I have to realize that like it doesn't look that way or it doesn't look, like which I lack, which is, I'll say, and again it's something where, if you're educating your partner that like, hey, this was my past because, like I said, people always come like there's I have, you know, I have guys dm me a lot.
Speaker 1I'm not even gonna lie. If I post a selfie, I have somebody dming me and this is me not. I'm really not a cocky person or anything. This is literally just.
Speaker 2This is every female yeah, like it doesn't matter percent.
Speaker 1Yeah, I have people I don't even freaking know, you don't even know and I don't even know.
Speaker 2Random and random, or like it takes a lot out of your partner, like meeting girl or guy like to just like, ignore like me I ignore that shit. I don't care about social media, that shit does not bother me. Like, oh okay, someone's liking your picture, like yeah, but that's good, you gotta.
Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery
Speaker 1You gotta like on your picture yeah, like that stuff doesn't bother me, but for most cases in relations I feel like people are bothered by that honestly, that's a really good point, because I I've heard a lot of things where, like, girls are like, and I've been, I've definitely been there. Yeah, I've been there, I've talked out of it a lot, but it comes from who you're with.
Speaker 1Because if you're with someone that is making you feel insecure and you're watching them like another girl's picture that is pretty yeah, it's going to make you insecure. You're going to be like, why is he liking that picture of her in a bathing suit? You insecure to be like why is he liking that picture of her in a bathing suit? But if you're with someone that makes you feel secure, you're gonna look at it and like laugh and be like okay, like you're not gonna dm her at the end of the day it's social media, yeah, and it's like it's stupid like who really?
Speaker 2yeah, I just don't think you should be putting any energy into social media. When you're in a relationship again, always depending on the situation, yeah, but if you're with someone you trust and you're good and social media should be like not even a topic of conversation so for valuing of a relationship, going back to the topic, work on the trust that you have with your partner and listen, I am no relationship expert, I am not a therapist.
Speaker 1I I get a ton of what are you sure yeah, I know I'm pretty good.
Speaker 1I'm pretty good at like advice sometimes but I've had, and there's some things that I don't share because there's no reason to, but I'm sharing experiences based off of myself and things that I've went through, and I've gone through a lot. I've been cheated on before. I've been in a relationship way longer than I should have. I've been in healthier relationships and I've been with people that I wasn't actually in a relationship with, that we were just like hanging out casually, like going on dates or whatever, and they taught me a lot about myself. Every single person I've been with and this also goes to one of my episodes of Burning Bridges every single person I've been with has taught me about myself, and I think that it's so important to not look at your exes as a negative thing. It's just changing your mindset and it's very hard to do, but changing your mindset in the sense of like I learned so much about myself through them, whether it worked out or it didn't work out, and it now brought me to who I was and honestly, I don't think that every person that I've been with has set me up to get into this relationship I'm with right now and me taking my time and us having those hard conversations from the beginning or us talking about when this person reached out to me. This person reached out to me. It truly like I don't even think twice, like literally, like I'll be like, oh, this person texts me. I'll be like, oh, this person dm me, this person texts me. Cool, like we. It's just, we built that foundation because we took our time to be friends and some people don't have to be friends right away. Some people know right off the bat. Like you know, I knew right off the bat that he was a good person and I cared about him and I knew that he was going to be in my life in some capacity. But I didn't know it was going to be to this extent and I'm very happy. I took a shot. And even, just like every relationship you get into, you may not know it's going to work out and this is something that I've taught, learned for myself like, yes, I've been in previous relationships where it didn't work out and that is one thing that I've become very emotionless and if I brought him on right now, he would say like from in the beginning versus now.
Speaker 1I was very emotionless in the beginning. I barely showed affection. I got it from her. I didn't really show that much affection. I was very guarded and it just switched one day where I was just like why am I being like this? Like I know so many things, I know so many aspects. This kid has shown up for me and communicate with me in so many different ways. Like, why not? And I just slowly started to like let my guard down and it's just changed so much. So it it's when you have a guard up, just know that like, yes, there's a possibility it won't work out. There's a possibility it could go the long haul. Like you don't know until you give it a shot. So I think it's super important to really give it a shot. Get to know your partner's love languages, all of that. Get to know what they value in a relationship and what you value. And if they're not, if your values aren't the same, then don't, don't push it.
Speaker 2So many people waste, not like waste time. I don't want to say it like rudely, but like they don't realize to like it's like years in years in or even after you're married or something that you don't even say I was there yeah, I was. I could say, I was there too, like you don't you try pushing that stuff because you wanted to work. You wanted to work so bad and you just put that stuff to the side and in the end it's making yourself unhappy and you're doing.
Speaker 1A lot of people do that, women and men, yeah, anybody. A lot of people do it based off of comfort, because you get comfortable with somebody, they know you, they've been with you through a lot of highs and lows of life, and you get comfortable with that and you settle. I definitely could have been there yeah, yeah, at one point I remember we had conversations. We both had conversations, because I feel like what you went through when you got out of it.
Speaker 1It was kind of, at that point was a situation that I got myself in, yeah, and then I kind of learned through you and we both, you know and I saw you on the other side of it and you were like, listen, like you're, you're just, you're gonna constantly go on a roller coaster like whatever it's gonna happen on your own time.
Speaker 2That's all I kept telling you. I said I'm not judging you. Yeah, I went through it for 10 years.
Speaker 110 years it's gonna happen on your own, and there's nothing wrong with those relationships that we were in or whatever, because again, it taught us, yeah, it taught us a lot about ourselves. It's just they are good people. They're just not for us, and that was it yeah, yeah, or just good in relationship, yeah yeah, at the time they just weren't good at relationship. So yeah it all comes.
Speaker 2It comes with, uh, maturity too, I would feel we were young girl.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, we are now, we're old I have to, and let me just say this right now I truly think that you should not get in a serious relationship until you're like 25 yeah, I want to say 25.
Speaker 2I but don't worry, girls mature fast.
Speaker 1Girls mature faster than guys but a lot of girls like to, just a lot of girls want to be in relationships because they want those, you know, they want those memories and the marriage or all right, not even 25, like, maybe like 23, I don't know honestly, if I could go back, I would say 25 yeah, I would say 25, because I feel like you're beginning 20s like from 21 to 23.
Speaker 1You're going out, you're partying, you're living your best life, you meet people out, yeah, and it's just hard to be in a relationship yeah, like you want to go out and have fun, travel, have girls trips like yeah, live your freaking life. Be about your friends in those years and then you just start to mature and, like I said, just date around.
Speaker 2It's like not again don't be so serious and don't take my dating around 22 like yeah, like don't nothing wrong with it, though yeah, nothing wrong with it if you find your person from high school.
Speaker 1I know some people are in relationships from high school and they have beautiful relationships, but me personally, if I could go back, I would want to be single till at least 24 and then start to try to date and find somebody because you dated young. I did I yeah, but my mentality, even just things going off of like when I was 18, I'd be like why is he liking this picture? Why is this? Why that versus like now? I'd be like who the hell gives a shit like why am I?
Speaker 1gonna go spend hours of my life going to stalk other people on instagram like guess what there is pretty people out there guess what?
Speaker 2you're a partner. You're not the only one he's looking at, and that's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, same with us like if we see someone like wow, he was so beautiful. Like yeah, right in front of my man like who cares?
Speaker 1no, I'm just kidding, but no but like it's true, though, like you're gonna it's human instinct to be attractive. We both are literally the type of people I'd be like oh my god, like that girl's so pretty, like go look at her.
Speaker 1Like like look at her butt like holy shit even if her boyfriend was there, like and he, I happened one time I think we were I forgot where we were. I was like dude, look at that girl's fucking ass. Like holy shit, I want that. And he just like looked at us cause he went on a look and we're like dude, you can look.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm like there's nothing there's nothing wrong, like my coworkers would be like I saw you checking her out, I'm like she has a nice body. I'm checking everyone out, not purposely, but if you see something like appealing, like your eyes just linger to it like nothing wrong with it. No, nothing wrong with it.
Importance of Genuine Friendship Bonds
Speaker 1No nothing wrong with it, yeah, so, yeah, that's, we just totally went off the tangent. That was a really good question for like a very good topic. All right, this kind of goes into okay, what is the most important quality you look for in a friendship? I mean, we kind of talked about it but like reiterating uh, reiterating what the heck I?
Speaker 2hang out with her too much.
Speaker 1I can't even say that word she doesn't even know what that word means to be honest.
Speaker 2Uh, kinda, we're going back to it, repeating, repeating. I am wow, wow, you're a scholar learning.
Speaker 1You're a scholar. Um, uh, just honesty, push, motivating each other, pushing each other um, allowing. My biggest thing is I'm big on like energies and energy exchanges. If I could be vulnerable and feel like myself, completely, wholeheartedly. Um, you're meant to be in my life.
Speaker 1If not, um, I don't want to be around you and that's where I'm at feel the energy oh 100, like I could full-blown sing in the car and this is just a random like thing with her and feel totally comfortable whether I sing good or not and I know I don't sing good.
Speaker 1That's just like an example yeah, just an example like yeah, just like I don't, like I don't care, like I know at the end, like she will, there's nothing I could do that she'll judge me for. And vice versa, like, yeah, and that's with all of my close friendships, like I know that I could go tell them absolutely anything and they're not judging me. Like again, going back to like a situation that I was telling her about before. I know that like she'll have my back completely and tell me if I want to know her opinion, or she'll just sit back and be like I support you, do whatever you want, and I mean no matter what. Yes, she still gave her, she still gave her opinion. She's just like, nah, I don't believe this stuff for a second. I'm like, yeah, true, whatever, but I always give my opinion?
Speaker 2Yeah, 100%, I know, you know, but you don't have to listen to it.
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly, and.
Speaker 2I'm not going to take offense to that. I'm not going to get mad at you for not doing something like you're asking me to do and if you don't do the opposite, I'm not going to get mad at you. Yeah, Like this is my biggest thing you will learn on your own time, 100%, no one's going. That's what I hate. When people like you know, like just in any accident, like they're telling you no, do this.
Speaker 1And they're judging you. I don't like that.
Speaker 2Like no, first of all, you're going to do what you want and you're going to learn. If it's wrong, You're going to learn on your own. No one can tell you but yourself.
Speaker 1A hundred percent, like I'm starting to put my feet out. I'm getting real. Your feet, they're always in my face.
Speaker 2They're literally oh, look at how long my legs look on the camera.
Speaker 1You do have long legs though I do have long legs.
Speaker 2I'm jealous. I love them, Guys.
Speaker 1this is why you just need to be my co-host on this podcast because we're going to go off on tangents with each other. Friendships, valuing friendships, my biggest thing. I want to know that if I left a room and you're mad at me or I'm going through something in life, I want to know if I left the room, if you're gonna talk about whatever somebody's saying about me, if you're gonna chime in and agree with them and say something, or if you have the like I'm gonna say the balls to say it to my face and all of my friends. And this is where it's knowing your friend and knowing who you have in your life, and like I want to say, like, honing in on your circle, like your friends should be so brutally honest with you. Like I know, if I walk out that door and someone's talking shit about me, I know that she will have my back without a question. Or I know that if me and her are in a disagreement and she's venting about me and talking shit, I know if I call her she's gonna be like dude, you pissed me off so much. Yeah, because it's. It's happened.
Speaker 1Like my best friend, one of my like very close friends, nikki, she was at my house one time, I mean her, were like like bickering, like as we like usually do, and she called me and she's nikki asked me how she was. I was like we're kind of like bickering right now, it's like nothing crazy. And I was like telling her the story. And then alissa called me. I was like dude, I was just talking shit about how we're bickering right now and like how I can't stand this, this, this, whatever, like. She's like okay, what did you say? What else like?
Speaker 1and it's almost like a joke, because you're talking about me, I know that's just it but like, honestly though, like because I've been in situations, and honestly I'm gonna say this you know what I'm going to talk about Group chat. Can I say it?
Speaker 2No, I don't want to get involved. Okay, you can put stereotypes about it if you want. Like, not like. I'm not even going to talk about it Basically, I don't know. If you want, you can.
Speaker 1I guess it doesn't matter to me anymore. Basically, there's a situation where I know that she will always have my back, because we have been put in a situation where somebody was talking about me in a space where Alyssa was and Alyssa fully had my back and called me immediately and was just like hey, I just want to talk to you about something and whatever. And we me and her discussed it together of how to handle it. And I mean, even prior to that, I already knew that she had my back always.
Speaker 2Oh, I actually have another situation. I was in like that it was okay, but it was with one of our like friends. We used to be friends with uh-huh and um and we were out at midland one night, uh-huh and um, I was talking with them and their ex, like with their ex, like they just their ex just pulled me aside to talk like Like, I'm like okay, like I mean I'm fucking wasted, I don't know anything, you're saying to me right now but okay.
Speaker 2I'll talk to you, and they were just literally talking to me about my friend, like genuinely talking to me about my friend and like how upset they were and like just that they want to talk to them.
Speaker 2They want to apologize, like just normal conversation like this and then like, obviously, people, midland is midland, so people saw us at midland talking. It's our local bar. If you're not like our town, literally try to spin it. Spin it, my own friends, like try to spin it. Like that. Like, oh, they were in the corner all night together, like all this, and like I woke up. I remember the time. I will never forget this story. I woke up. It was like 9 am I faced now, this was one of my best friends. At this point I know the story.
Speaker 1I FaceTimed my friend.
Speaker 2I FaceTimed that friend and I spilled everything that went on. Yeah, and this is not me knowing that my other friends already went back to her and said something I didn't know. Till my friend my friend personally, I'm sitting there. She's like I just want to say thank you so much. I appreciate it. Like it kind of seemed like it was a certain way to other people that came back to tell me and she's like she's like you and they get just right there and her mom was on FaceTime and everything with me and she's like that's just a true friend.
Speaker 1I'm like I would. It was literally all about you, like I don't want nothing to do with any of my friends, but like also too, then if you really genuinely even thought for a second whether it was you or like anybody I'm putting this into any scenario Don't be friends with that person. If I saw, if I found out, actually we've been in a situation where my ex was around Alyssa and I wasn't there and he went up to her to go talk to her and was talking about me and she called me the next day. I was like, oh okay, next topic.
Speaker 1There's no question in my mind that even if my boyfriend, if my exes, ever hung out with Alyssa, talked to Alyssa, there's zero question in my mind that she would ever do anything. I know fully that she would always have my back, and this isn't even just with Alyssa. This is any one of my friends. Yeah, like plain and simple. And if you have a friend like that, they're. They're not your friends, they're not your friends.
Speaker 2Plain and simple, plain and simple. Your friends. We said the same thing, yeah, literally for the same person.
Speaker 1Um but your friends should like value. You value your friendship, what you bring to the table, and and just and push it.
Speaker 2Push you to be better and like exactly, and you know what like not jealousy yeah I feel like that's a main thing in friendship and I think where is jealousy coming?
Speaker 1yes, and that I feel like a lot of times that if you feel like you have jealousy in a relationship, a lot of your friends want to like stay here. They're comfortable, they want to stay here. They like where their life is going, they have a routine, they do the same thing, they go to the same places, they do this, they do that all the same. But if you have friends that are like no, I'm tired of this.
Speaker 1Like I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to do that, like moving up like keep moving up, let's keep growing like.
Speaker 1I'm not gonna go sit like I've actually just talked about this last day to another friend like you will not catch me at tables of other people talking shit like. And we're not talking shit here, we're literally just saying like experiences because at the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for anybody that has ever been in my life. Whether you treated me good or whether you treated me poorly, I will always say this you taught me about myself. You taught me how to show up in rooms where I know people are going to talk about me. You treated me good or whether you treated me poorly, I will always say this you taught me about myself. You taught me how to show up in rooms where I know people are going to talk about me. You taught me how to like motivate me to not care about other people's opinions, and that's also something Alyssa's taught me. Like who cares about other people's opinions? Like?
Speaker 1I feel like when I started to get somewhat of a social media like platform, I would get random DMs of like. Like there's people that are very nasty. There's people that comment my stuff. I delete them because I don't care. There's people that dm me like really mean stuff. And then there's people that are so nice and it just taught me, like hone in on who you are and don't like block everybody out.
Speaker 1Yeah, and that is something like even in my relationship right now, where I've, like me and him, just discussed this because I was just like we're gonna have people like if we're gonna share our relationship, whatever, we're gonna have people that are gonna like there's gonna be people that are jealous and there's gonna be people that try to take it down, like who knows what end it's gonna come from whether it's your end or whether it's my, and like you don't know. I'm sure I'm gonna have people like dm me or like whatever, and like think that they have a shot and I like I'm gonna be honest with you and like all that stuff. But like just know who you are and like know who your friends are, know who your relationship is it literally goes with every aspect and like whatever. Like don't just don't put yourselves in positions of talking shit about other people or anything, because if you're sitting and I mean it's also.
Speaker 2It's just why, though, Like, what do you get out of it?
Speaker 1Yeah, Like what the only time I'll say if, like, I talk about someone else is, I'll be like oh my god, did you see? This person got engaged like.
Speaker 2I'm so happy for that, that's like not, that's not saying anything bad, that's just like bringing up, yeah, and that's the only time you'll ever hear me talking about someone, if it's in a positive light, because otherwise I really don't want it.
Speaker 1If I've ever been at a table where I've heard them start talking about someone in their life, I excuse myself. I go to the bathroom because I don't want to be there. Yeah, I don't care, I don't want to be there. You guys can have all the time you want to talk about somebody else. I don't care, it doesn't do anything for me. But yeah, that, what is it? What's? Another one I have? We have a bunch, but I feel like a lot of them are kind of like going with each other. Oh OK, oh alright, and then we're gonna go back to other stuff. Go ahead.
Speaker 2Courtney just did my hair. That's why I keep touching it. She's obsessed. I love it. Skincare routine.
Speaker 1We have the same skincare routine you wanna start with morning, you take this over because she actually does facials, so take this over, you know morning I've been on a new morning skincare kick.
Speaker 2I'm just testing it out still. But because I've been watching a new morning skincare kick I I'm just testing it out still, yeah, but because I've been watching a lot of videos like not to like overly wash your face and I like struggle with acne and like acne scars. So I been just I've been doing just like washing my face with water and just putting like my serum.
Speaker 1Ha, because I heard something about your natural oils overnight, or it's actually really good for you and you don't want to strip that away.
Speaker 2So I've been doing that and I think it's been helping my skin a lot. So I'll just go in with like a HA serum and then, if you don't know, hyaluronic acid, sorry, no, it's okay HA serum. And I usually don't even put moisturizer on in the morning. I know it's like some people if you need moisturizer, but I think some most moisturizers are too thick for me and I do struggle from acne, so I don't like overnight you do more of the like moisturizer and stuff, snail mucin, don't forget this, and I'll put that on in the morning too.
Speaker 1Guys, she put me on to snail mucin. It sounds disgusting. It really kind of is, if you think about it, like, like.
Speaker 2I don't really want to think about it. I don't want to think of this. I literally do not even want to think about a snail like going around. What is it, though? It's like when like a snail moves, yeah.
Speaker 1So there's in what they leave behind. It's the snail secretion. I can't think about it. The first time we went out really easy. She's like I'm not gonna tell you what it is, I'm like what the fuck is this? She's like snail mucin, I go. Do I have snail piss on my face right now? Whatever, I don't know, I put it on. I have no makeup on at all right now and I I've been liking it a lot, to be honest so great I love you like my night time, like night time.
Speaker 2I'll do more. Like night time I'm washing my face, I'm toning my face, yeah, so I use like a face wash and I use paulo's choice. I love that toner, I love that toner choice. Then I'll do the snail mucin and then I will go on with the retinol.
Speaker 1You need to put a retinol on yeah, retinol.
Speaker 2Then I will put on more serum, an eye cream, yeah, and I'll put a thick moisturizer on at night.
Speaker 1It's also just knowing your skin, because if we say our skincare routine.
Speaker 2It might not be for you guys like currently we use elastin, hyaluronic acid, snail mucin. We use the same stuff, polish choice polish choice, we use uh skin suitable.
Speaker 1I love skin I've been liking lolita. I also like lamere, but I I'm actually trying to get away from La Mer.
Speaker 2Lolita's good because it's clean. By the way, I'm more into clean skincare now no chemicals.
Speaker 1Which is another topic. What is our favorite makeup brands? There's so many. We really like a lot of clean stuff. We switched House Labs. I like Rare Beauty's good Fenty.
Speaker 2NARS is good fenty um nars makeup forever, forever, of course, um there's so much makeup by mario lawless is really good. This is clean um cosis for sunscreen yeah, cosis, don't forget sunscreen in the morning guys even if you're driving around in your car especially right now.
Speaker 1Oh my god I this is actually a really funny story, I just thought about this so it's sunscreen. So I was saying because, uh, my boyfriend is in the car a lot and uh, I'm not gonna talk about whatever, but he's in the car a lot and I literally go to, I was like, babe, you gotta make sure that you have sunscreen on, thing thing. That's crazy, I'm just kidding. Um, I was like you have to make sure that you have sunscreen on, especially when you're in the car working. And he goes Courtney, I don't work during the day, I work at night. And I just literally was like oh, my God.
Speaker 1And I, literally, we looked at each other. We started dying laughing and I was like I just had an Alyssa moment.
Speaker 2Like why didn't I think about that?
Speaker 1Because I'm sitting here like because I'm always in the car. I'm sitting here like because I'm always in the car, so I'm like you're always in the car, you've got to put sunscreen on and he's like I'm literally not even out during the day, Even if you have a tinted windshield.
Speaker 2Yeah, not really Regardless yeah, okay.
Speaker 1So yeah, those are makeup brands Anything clean. Nars, really like NARS. Makeup by Mario Rare, whatever. Repeating that all. What rare? Whatever. Repeating that all. What is another one that I'm trying to think of? I'm like trying to think of my makeup. Oh, it's called I don't, I don't know if it's called like L Y, I don't know L period Y S. I don't know if it's like L Y S I don't know whatever they're good.
Speaker 2They're clean too yeah, that's really it I stick to the same.
Speaker 1Yeah, I stick to like the same things oh, armani, armani, duh hello.
Speaker 2I said, yeah, I stick to the same things, oh.
Speaker 1Armani, armani Duh. Hello, I said Make.
Speaker 2Up Forever. We said ours.
Speaker 1We said oh, too Faced, Too Faced, too Faced yeah.
Speaker 2Urban Decay. Make Up Mario, make Up by Mario.
Speaker 1That's really it. I'm trying to think of my whole kit Hourglass, hourglass.
Speaker 2Hello, big one. I already got that's a big one. We use that a lot.
Speaker 1Bronzer. I like their skin illuminator. Their concealer is bomb. Natasha Denona, there we go.
Speaker 2I just bought their concealer?
Speaker 1no, they're eyeshadow palette, they're powder really I don't know it'll come to you it'll come to me anyway um. Next question do you think exes can remain friends after a breakup?
Speaker 2I think there's always one person in the X that could be a friend. I think that it's possible. I think that usually there's always one that always wants more, though, and it kind of just ruins the friendship at one point.
Navigating Friendship With Exes
Speaker 1Yeah, every single person is different. I will say, once I'm over somebody, I can easily be friends with them and I'm speaking on behalf of myself. But I will put myself through a lot of freaking like shit and then be like, ok, I'm so over you, like I can't believe I put myself through that and we're friends. Honestly, I have to say, all my exes two of them are from my town. I'll run into them on occasion. We'll see each other like whatever. One of them my sister's well, my niece and nephew are friends with his niece and nephew. I run into him pretty often. We're totally cool.
Speaker 1But it's also like respect, like you have to respect where they're at too and where you're at Like I'm pretty sure both of my exes are in relationships. I know one of them is we're super cordial with each other Occasionally. Occasionally we'll check in with each other. Obviously, if me and him talk, I tell my boyfriend I like whatever, um, and vice versa. I I think I don't, I don't know, I just know my end, what I do. But it really depends. You have to be completely over them and you have to like not want to do anything with them, but you also need to take space. I don't think that you could be friends immediately absolutely not you cannot be friends with somebody immediately.
Speaker 1You need to take space, you need to find yourself again, you need to heal and once you feel like you have that, and either they reach out to you, reach out to them like whatever, like you never know, like I'm speaking on behalf of things that I've gone through, like, uh, one of my particular exes, like he was there with me through like a very shitty time of my life and like a big supporter for a lot of things, and we and him have like a like we're cool, like we're cool with each other. We don't text every day again like it's just, it's respecting boundaries. You have to have boundaries if you're gonna, but every, every single person's different.
Speaker 2That's a big thing.
Speaker 1But if my Boundaries and if my boyfriend was uncomfortable with it, then there's no question. Obviously I'm going to respect my current relationship. But again, right from the beginning, these are conversations that I've had and, like Alyssa could attest to. I've had conversations I was like hey, and make you feel comfortable, I don't need to talk to him, if you like, whatever, but like randomly, we'll just like ask, like one of our friends, um, passed away a couple years ago and that was like at the time I was dating him, um, or he. I don't even think I was dating him, but he was in my life and he got me through a lot of that. And um, yeah, he very much like still reaches out to me during the anniversary and always checks in on me, which I respect, and just little things like that, yeah, yeah. So, um, it just time. Time heals all wounds. It's true, you need space yeah and um, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Next question what's your funny story to tell people we have so many, there's so many. Do you have one that like off the top of your bat?
Speaker 2I'm just thinking about how you were skipping. Today at the gym we were like trying to do high knees and like, oh, it's like my brain wasn't working.
Speaker 1I didn't know how to like walk like when I fell. I fell once at the gym. Oh yeah, shuffling, shuttling, shuttling.
Speaker 2Oh tell my 21st birthday weekend oh, when I fell in the bathtub.
Speaker 1I was so wasted we went to ocean city, maryland I was hanging out with, uh, my friend, damian cowboy, who's actually gonna be on the podcast episode which already at this point is gonna be out, and uh, me and him were just like catch up. He actually picked us up because we were so drunk. He picked us up because we didn't want, were we? We were at secrets. We were yeah, we were at secrets and I don't remember this hammered. It was my 21st birthday week. It was just me and her. So she's like I need to go shower and sober up because I think we're going to dinner. So me and and him were just bullshitting, talking. All of a sudden I hear like boom and he goes. I think she just fucking fell in the bathroom and I just hear a bunch of laughing. I said, well, she's clearly OK. So I was like let me just go check it on her.
Speaker 2I go check it on her.
Speaker 1Some of the shower curtain fell down. She's laying like her feet are up in the air.
Speaker 2like this, it hurts less when you're drunk, you don't remember the pain.
Speaker 1I just come in and she's just all over and she's like Like she gets this, like she gets this like face where she just looks Sometimes like she laughs so hard.
Speaker 2She just like opens her mouth and does like.
Speaker 1She's laughing but nothing comes out. Silent laugh like.
Speaker 2That's what happened, and I still imagine it. I wish I remembered it more. I definitely had bruises, though I think I might pee myself thinking about it. I'm going to pee myself. I have a problem, okay.
Speaker 1Oh, I got one. You know exactly what I was talking about the ocean. I hate the ocean. I hate the ocean. I hate the ocean. I've talked about this the last episode.
Speaker 1I will make alissa hold me in the water because I hate the ocean. I don't want to know what the fuck is below me anyway. So I went into the ocean with my friend. It wasn't alissa, I went in the ocean with my friend and weird, so weird, and they were like I got you, like I will, like I will lift you up over the waves, like you're good. I'm like I don't care about going underwater, it's just I want to make sure I'm coming up. I don't want to make sure there's a fucking shark below me. Like I don't care. So, um, he's like I got you. So I was like facing the waves and he was facing the shore. So the waves are coming at my face. So, like, throwing me over, throwing me over, there's like three. He threw me over all of a sudden. I'm like holy shit, that's a big one, it's gonna crash right on us. He's like we're going under. I'm like are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 2I don't want to go under right, I'm like no, no he's like we're going under everything happened so fast.
Speaker 1I literally didn't even like get to hold my nose. He would just like the wave just came over us. When I tell you my mouth is open, my nose he come. We both come up together. This is so disgusting and embarrassing. We both come up together. I have no, I can't even see. I have context and my eyes are burning. I just have lashes at that point. No, I didn't, I just literally spit all the water that came, that went into my mouth. It was in my nose. I just spit and I'm blowing my nose at the same time and he's coming up. He's like and it went right into his fucking mouth. It was disgusting. And I call this and I'm like oh my God, I'm like I can't. I'm like, well, really close after that one. That was really embarrassing. That was a funny and embarrassing moment embarrassing.
Navigating Relationships and Self-Worth
Speaker 1Yeah, that was a funny and embarrassing moment and he was like honestly, this is what I get for, this is what I get for offering this. Um, how do you tell someone you're not interested? I mean, alissa's terrible at this. I will answer for her. She won't. She won't, she'll just ghost them. She's a ghoster.
Speaker 1Yes, um, I will flat out I will just be like listen, like my biggest thing. I'm not even gonna lie and I'm so sorry if you're listening to this and I did this to you. I can still be over my ex and I'll be like I'm just really going through a lot right now and like I just missed my ex or like some bullshit I've used that before.
Speaker 2Like I can't, like I can use that. I'd rather make an excuse.
Speaker 1I'd rather make an excuse and honestly at that point, versus like I don't. I don't want somebody to feel like it was their fault. I got better with it. I honestly like now I I'm very honest, like that was, like I want to say when I was like 21 to like 23. You're making me feel wait, no I was people wait, no, I was in a relationship.
Speaker 1When was it? I would feel like 20. Yeah, I was like 24. That's when I was like kind of like I'm like. Yeah, I was like, I was like I'm gonna kick it over my ex, like that was my excuse, but like now I'm just like I'm gonna be totally honest. I just don't think this is like compatible. Alice is just not good at communication. Yeah, um, what are your thoughts on social media and relationships? We literally kind of just went into that already. Yeah, um, basically, you gotta, you gotta the core values of like trusting your person, whatever it's social media, I'm just gonna tell you that right now, it's social media. If you're gonna let social media ruin your relationship, you are not meant to be in that relationship. Yeah, period, period, that's it. Uh, what's your biggest pet peeve? I'm gonna I already know, let's just go ahead and say it courtney bitch, I'm just kidding you hate when I say cringe.
Speaker 1I hate the word cringe, but we've been on a roll like saying this word and I hate it.
Speaker 2Yeah it actually makes me like wanna um my biggest cringe you know what it is? I'm gonna say a cringe, so it's like you know what.
Speaker 1You know what it is, what that is it. If you know me, you know what it is. You got it.
Speaker 2Just talked about this. You got this, what you got it. Emotions no, that's mine, that's yours. Come on, hands she doesn't like her lower back. Touch fucking hate it. Like when someone just goes like like this, like I'm literally like get off of me and I won't say it I won't say it I won't say it, she goes.
Speaker 1And I literally arched my back alissa called it out once once because it happened in front of her and she's like dude.
Speaker 2Why are you arching your back?
Speaker 1I'm like I don't want my back touched. I don't like it. It cringes me. I don't know what it is, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what else.
Speaker 2What is your pet peeve?
Speaker 1it's not a really a pet peeve, but I feel like I don't know, oh, my pet peeve of alissa, when she wakes up in the morning, she just always she's like, like makes this noise and like moves her head, and I'm like ew like, ew like.
Speaker 2Why does that bother you?
Speaker 1I'm your wife her pet peeve of me when I get into like a laughing episode I still try talking while I'm laughing and she's like I can't fucking understand do it.
Speaker 2I can't do it on demand. She's like she's like like what are you saying? Like I can't understand you. I hate that shit. I just started laughing at the point, not like I hate it, but I just. I want to understand you. Like stop laughing and then talk, or breathe and then talk. I think I just did it.
Speaker 1What is one of your?
Speaker 2biggest challenges in life. Life is a challenge, life is a challenge. That was so motivational, right I?
Speaker 1just feel like that was ready for a Hannah Montana, like life is a climb or something like that.
Speaker 1Life is a challenge. I don't know what is it. There's something about the climb, I don't know. I mean mean we could both agree on like. Losing our friend was like a really. We actually were just talking about this earlier. That was.
Speaker 1I still struggle with it. Uh, I have random moments where it hits me. Um, I was actually just with a thing, I was with thing the other day and it hit me. Um, it was his mom's birthday and I reached out to her and it just randomly hit me and I just started crying and I can't cry in front of people. If I could cry in front of you, then whatever. And I like turned my head and I was like crying, looking out the window and he noticed it and like put his like hand on my leg and he's like you could cry in front of me, like it's okay, like I just wanted silence and he just like totally respected it. And then, like, when I was like okay, talked about it and he was like I can't like just reassuring, like I can't imagine, like what that feels like. Um, that was like that was.
Speaker 1That's definitely something I still struggle with. Um, that and uh, another challenge, more so like work-wise, um, going off on my own and having the negative opinions of people saying like I really think that you're gonna money doing spray tanning. I've had a lot of that and I'm like, yeah, so just kind of tuning people out. That was like a little bit of a challenge, especially when you literally I went off on my own and I wasn't making money and I was just like, oh my God, what am I getting myself into? I should have never left my full time job. But really that's where Alyssa came in that came in.
Speaker 1She's like dude, you literally are such a people person like you got this, like you're like you're fine, like look where you are, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, that was the best thing you could have done. Yeah, that's like the risk you have to take 100 and like a lot of people don't take it because they're comfortable, so like that's what you should feel so good about yourself that you took the risk and you're successful.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, 100 I mean honestly, the the last question was just pretty much wrapped it up for I mean a lot of them were just they all kind of correlate with each other. So yeah, basically, if you guys take this out anything out of this episode, you know, know your friends, know your relationship, know the people you surround yourself with and just be positive, be positive.
Speaker 2Like life is a climb, Life is a climb. That was our graduation song.
Speaker 1song, song song, by the way. Yeah, yeah, um just a lot like put work into yourself, um know yourself, um, if you're single, just getting out of a relationship, date yourself, like honestly, um, it's okay to be alone.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's okay to be alone, the best um it's okay to date around and like see what's out there, don't sleep around. That is one way you will lose a respect from someone. I don't care, I will sit with that until the day I die. Make them fucking work for it. Yeah, hundred percent. Yeah, um, but yeah, just know yourself.
Speaker 2Know your worth. We have the power. That's why I feel like a lot of girls forget.
Empower Yourself and Value Your Worth
Speaker 1We have the power In every aspect, though, of your life, whether it's a relationship or anything. You have the power to control how people are going to treat you, but that will only happen if you show up for yourself. If you cannot show up for yourself, how are you showing up for anybody in your life? You need to show up for yourself and you need to be honest with yourself. You need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and have conversations about what you need to work on and anything Like truly.
Speaker 1You are the only person that's going to get you through everything. Everyone else can help you and guide you, but you're the only person that is going to sit with your emotions and know what is in your head, and you have to get through that and just value yourself, value your worth, know what you belong, because every single person deserves people in their life that are going to motivate them and treat them good, and just find those people, and if people aren't giving that to you, don't be afraid to cut them out, because life is so short. It is so short. You do not want to put energy into people that are not deserving of yours.
Speaker 2Yeah, period period 100 done, done. I mean I I can't even go off of that because that was that was good. I motivated myself. She's a motivational list. What the fuck is that a word? Is that a word motivational list? She speaks motive.
Speaker 1Bye guys, I'm just going to end up there. Bye guys.
